Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Giant Crap Sandwich in my Wednesday- MTV

Last weekend I found myself with one of those rare moments, with not a lot to do, well actually that's a lie there was plenty to do but I could not be arsed doing any of it. My boys were indulging in the spoils of Nana's house and Little P.R.H was fast asleep....... and it was 7pm..... and it was unheard of.

For the first hour I wondered around in a bit of a daze, trotting from room to room,  randomly opening cupboards thinking to myself...... I really need to find the time to clean out these cupboards, they look like chaos came and took a crap in them. I knew I had the prime opportunity then and there, but these moments are too rare to spend on spring cleaning, and I feared if I  opened one more cupboard something would fall out on top of my head rendering me unconscious and unable to enjoy my special moment,  but mostly  like I said, who can be arsed.... right?


Eventually I plonk myself down on the couch and start flicking through the idiot box and what did I see?

MTV Teen Mum season 2  Check it out here. I am sitting there mouth agape and I let out an almighty WTF!, ( and I could, no kids within earshot, they were at Nana's remember).
 It was a group of 16 something mums, prancing around like nobodies business, swooning over Justin Beiber or whatever it is they do, with an MTV camera documenting and glamorising every idiotic thing that came out of their stupid naive little mouths, and I was royally Peed.

I realise also, that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, so let me share something with you.

I too was a teen mum, and I could not think of anything worse than parading it around in front of a camera for the viewing...pleasure? of others.

I was not your quintessential Teen Mum, I was halfway through year 11,  I had a nice steady BF, I got good grades, had good friends, came from a good family and dreamt of a career in journalism.

 I would sit in front of my wardrobe mirror practicing my "I'm Emma's Brain... Thanks for joining us... and goodnight... cue smile... shuffle papers..... aaaand we're clear."

I had discussed it with my mother, I went to the doctor, I was on the pill, I had a bout of back end tummy flu, then I was late, I was worried, I was pregnant.
I was also educated, articulate, scared shitless and I had no fucking idea what I was going to do or how this could possibly happen to me.

I got up the next morning, put on my school uniform, it fit me the same as it always had, I didn't feel any different and I went to school. I sat through double maths, biology, and Sex Ed. I looked with envious disgust at the kids in the back drawing crude stick pictures and giggling behind their pencil cases.

I handed in an English assignment and I went home. I still dutifully took my pill every morning. This continued for a week or two. I still didn't feel any different, My uniform still fit me and I still had no fucking idea what to do.

My boyfriend was a dream, whatever I wanted to do he would support me, we were in this together.

I told my mum and sister, I cried, they cried, I was supported, they would support me in whatever I wanted to do, we were in this together.

I got up the next morning, I put on my uniform and I went to school. I said nothing.
I'd heard them talk about those girls, Tina M is a dirty slut was still inscribed in the back of toilet door number 4, and  now inscribed in my brain.

I sat in the doctors waiting room with my mum, and my boyfriend and I sat numbly watching a mother of a small child sitting across from me.
I watched her wipe the baby's snotty green nose while she was whinging and hitting the woman, her mother in the head with one of the festy germ infested waiting room toys. The mother took the toy from the child, kissed her snot smeared cheek and cooed, "my poor sick little girl"
I remember thinking.... wow she must really love that ugly little thing and after much deliberation, soul searching and countless hours crying I had made my decision then and there.
I was keeping the baby, but what now? I still had no idea what I was going to do.

I wasn't exactly sure how far I was and had only stopped taking the pill when I had told my mother so I was booked in for a scan the following week.

I got up the next morning, got dressed and went to school.

After my scan, ( I was about 11 weeks along) I made an appointment with my year coordinator and discussed with him my options.
Turns out I didn't have many and even though they couldn't force me to leave I should think about my responsibility to the other students and the school and probably it would be best not to continue with my studies........ not that they were asking me to leave..... .

What about my responsibility to my child to have an education and be able to support him/her?
Well turns out I'm a smart cookie, which is why it was such a disappointment and I would figure it out.

And figure it out I did, and it turns out I still don't have any clue what I'm doing, but I'm doing it.

Being a parent is tough at any age, and being a teen mum was hard.
It was heart breaking, unrelentless, terrifying and certainly not ideal. Glamorising it and making it some kids ticket to 15 minutes of fame and front row Beiber tickets makes me violently ill.

So for the giant crap sandwich in my Wednesday I salute MTV with the biggest bird I can flip, I DON'T WANT MY MTV. Wake up to yourself, Think about your responsibility to your fellow students and school.

My beautiful little Groover turns 12 in a matter of months, I am not a Teen Mum to him, as far as he is concerned,  I am just mum, he thinks I know almost as much as his teacher, he has no knowledge that I flunked out of year 11 in a disappointing disgrace, and went to live next door to Tina M in school history slut street behind the door of cubicle number 5

I have kissed his green snot smeared little cheek in the waiting room at the doctors, and I really love him.

I can do anything

Emma xx


Lori @ RRSAHM said...

I cried reading this hun. I knew it was hard for you, but I didn't know it was that hard... I had no idea they effectively kicked you out school?! How freaking rude!!!

You are an awesome mu, you know that? An awesome mum, and an awesome person. And your kids are a credit to you xoxxoxo

Mummy's Brain said...

Thanks Babe, We turned out alright didn't we xx

Draft Queen said...

I got pregnant at 18 during my last year of high school. My daughter just turned twelve this month.

That show fills me with The Rage.


Veggie Mama said...

Aw we can be Year 11 flunkies together. And I'll help you stab each and every one of the Teen Moms.

bigwords is... said...

What strength you've shown. My mum was 21 when she had me. It was just her and me. She put everything into raising me as you have your little boy. It angers me the system let you down, when you needed their support most. Hopefully, there are more programs out there for young mums to help them stay at school. Well done to being an amazing mother x

Mummy's Brain said...

Can't thankyou enough for your kind words, I have never really spoke..(written?) about it before and I feel about 5 kg's lighter..... wish I was he he he. It inspires me to stick it to them, and after today I think I just might. xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Wow Emma. I feel the same as Lori, how completely sucky! I can't believe what you went through! I'm now a teacher and completely outraged over what they made you do! I hope to god that things like that aren't happening anymore. You are a true credit to yourself and I'm sure your kids are so proud of you. Good on you for outing it even if it is 12 years after,it seems most people didn't know. I truly admire you.Rachel xxx

Anonymous said...

Hey Emma,
I had NO idea how they made you feel. Bastards! I wish i could have been there for more, but i blame my 17 year old rose coloured glasses. Well i can't remember who our year advisor was, we had that many. But they can take a look at you now and your beautiful family and choke on their words.
Your awesome


Mummy's Brain said...

Thanks swet, All good now..... f*ckers.. hope they get herpes..:)

Mummy's Brain said...

*sweet........ se couldn't stay in school long enough to me english