Saturday, November 27, 2010

You are on my last Nerve

Its a wonderfully P.C world of parenting these days. The Basic rules are the same, but the children conceived on the information Highway are getting smarter. Much too smart for idle threats.

The Moralistic fairy tales of old, if released today, would most certainly be met with outrage. Snow White and the seven dwarfs for example is a P R nightmare. The youngest and littlest of the seven "Dopey" is continually mocked and slapped about the head for living up to his name. The pig hunter cut the heart out of a pig after The wicked stepmother ordered him to murder Snow White?

I never saw them in that light as a child though, I loved the animation, the princesses, music and the baby animals. I just content with a happy ending.
We didn't really watch a lot of T.V as kids, in part because our T.V was a piece of crap. Dad never hooked it up to the aerial properly, so it only received Chanel 2 and a fuzzy Chanel 9.  T.V was the man in our house.... Damn the man, peace love and mung beans.

Bambi, however is terribly sad.
I am permanently damaged from that film. I wouldn't watch another animated movie unless my brother and sister viewed it first and assured me it wasn't sad. I have memories of watching old Disney movies with my family and asking my parents "Is it a sad one?" over and over before the movie started.... sniff.

The basic rules of the parenting game are more or less unchanged, but the lingo has certainly different. The moral of the story stays the same but it is boxed up in a colourful PG wrapper and re gifted to our children.

I would like to share with you some of the Hilarious Idle threats I remember receiving when I was a kid, and probably most of those born B.C (Before Computers) will remember hearing at some time.


Keep it up and I am going to knock your block off,  This I clearly knew was an idle threat. What exactly was my block anyway? I always assumed it was some sort of a smacking, but if my dad was angry enough to say it, it was job done.

You are grounded for the rest of your life,  Really? Life? That's a bit of a harsh. That kind of sentence is usually reserved for the worst of society, murderers and alike

Get out of bed again and I am going to crack, Crack what exactly we were never sure, but it doesn't sound pleasant for either of us. If it would be any consolation to the Freaked Out Flower Children (my parents), I have certainly received my come-uppance with this one, I sympathise, Apologise and you were right.... Karma most certainly is a bitch. Peace out.

This is why I can't have nice things, another pearler I beg to differ with, You can have nice things, just don't keep them out around us and a ball. Not rocket science.

Then there are things that children over hear and whack out at an inappropriate time, Like the time our neighbours painted their house a terrible shade of baby shit beige, I made the comment to my husband and our then 3 year old smash told her through the fence that very afternoon.

My Dad is an Artist and I remember the freaked out pair sitting around compiling invitations to opening nights for various exhibitions, discussing between them particular guests on the list. At one such discussion An older lady called Mrs Brown and her notoriously shady history was described as Mad as a meat axe, Probably has a bit of Storm damage.
Later on that evening as the guests are milling over the latest abstract addition, my dad introduced us an eccentric looking woman in a purple and green dress.  This is Mrs Brown my dad said to us, She is from a gallery in Newtown, My little brother then piped up "Is that the one you said had a bit of Storm damage dad?"...... Insert mortified face.

I don't think that children should be seen and not heard, but lets face it a mute button or tact switch would be good.
Did your Parents have a favorite telling off, or your child say something hilariously honest? I would love to giggle at them and compose them into some sort of list. Leave a comment below oy you can tweet me if you like... somewhere on the left. <-----------

With Sacred Hour nearly over I better get back to the dishes, or Santa might not come


MotorbikesLady said...

Remember all them ones you said plus
Do you know what you just did!!
Now look at what you did!!
What till your father gets home!!
Don't want to see your face again!!

Thanks for the memories & laughs

(((( Hugs ))))

That Granny said...

Yes well, Karma is a bitch, isn't it...

and by the way..... 'your block' is your head......

Lori @ RRSAHM said...

Hehe. Just this morning I caught myself saying to the Chop "I will smack you from here to next week!". Oops.... ;)