Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Our Little Male Midwife

It seems only yesterday that our little smash had to be pryed off of the many legs of Henry The Octopus at Wiggle World, apparently he is now old enough to know what he wants to do with his life..... again.
This career decision has come ahead of many twists and turns in his six years.

His first calling was in paleontology, he wanted to be a dinosaur, a green one at that.

I told him that I thought he would make a fine dinosaur.

His T rex bed cover was soon replaced with Pokemon and he was to be a Pokemon trainer.

I told him I thought the world could use such a dedicated Pokemon trainer, and I meant it. This kid dedicated 26hrs a day to the cause.

I friggen hate Pokemon.

This has been his first grown up career move, and one his father and I are supporting with gusto for fear that pokemon might make a come back.

The story of how he found his latest calling was such a mother heart melting moment for me and I just had to share it.

Before I start....... and before some of you might start..........

I am 100% in favour of responsible cat ownership, including spaying.
I appreciate the amount of unwanted cats and would never encourage irresponsible breeding.
Sometimes, such as in our case it is unavoidable, and I am very glad it was...........................

Our heavily pregnant cat Audrey was the topic of much excited chatter in our house in the days leading up to the birth.
It was excruciating for my boys Smash and Groover.

Every afternoon after school I was greeted with a "himumgood"............................................... "has Audrey had her babies yet?"

Whilst my kids were pleased as punch I was was as pleased as a punch in the face.

Thoughts of Bloody Tart Cat and Kitty litter frequently passed through Emma's Brain.

Then, one afternoon I came home to a favorite house plant, knocked over, dug up,  cat crapped on, then dug up again.

This was it.

I flung my bag on the floor ( clear of the cat crap) and stomped over to Tart Features to have it out.

It was there I found her , spread eagled over the top of the lounge, hot, exhausted, fat uncomfortable and fed up.


I felt for her.
I have been that hot, exhausted, fat and fed up.

I surely meant the end was near.

I announced my opinion to the kids that very afternoon and joined in on their excited  "what colour do you think they will be"   on the way home.

Well it seems my opinion is not so expert.

She went another 9 painful_ I didn't leave the house-I was wrong-sorry kids Days

On the evening of my husbands birthday I returned from dinner to a Labouring Audrey.

I stroked her fur and spoke to her in a calm soothing voice and she bit me.....
Ingrate.......... The hand that feeds her....

so I left her wallowing in her own pain and went to inform the kids.

On my return to the lounge room to my horror and sadness 2 perfectly formed icy cold kittens.

How did this happen?
How did I not see them before?
If only we had come home an hour earlier?

Tears filled the eyes of my children as I tried to explain the laws of mother nature tried my best to articulate that all was not lost to their sad, expectant little faces.

I left the kids in my husbands expert distractable hands and checked on the Audrey, just in time for the arrival of a tiny ginger baby number three.

The tiny little bundle lay lifeless on the floor and Audrey took off under the bed.

I scooped up little ginger and rubbed him frantically until I heard a little whine and popped my head under the bed........ It was there I spotted another bundle, black and white, lifeless in her sack and a ginger baby number 5 making a rapid entry.


In my best mum everything is just A OK but can you get your arses in here NOW! voice I summonsed my army.

In ran Groover, smash, hubby and PRH laden with towels, heat packs and a tin of cat food...... WTF?.......... Men......

There was no time to argue that she certainly wasn't hungry.

Little bundles were passed around, rubbed down and encouraged with desperate little pleads to breathe.

And they did,

just in time for the arrival of little tortoise shell.

The kids watched, eyes wide as saucers in a calm, quiet awe.

when all four kittens were safe and warm, mewing and feeding as only newborns do, the kids packed off to bed.

                                                                    Great Job Team Audrey

Early the next morning.... sometime just after the arse crack of dawn, I heard little footsteps up the hall and the kitten nursery  the Laundry  door open.

I tip toed after the little footsteps and I heard the muffled voice of Smash.

Very slowly I opened the door and eavesdropped in on his special moment.

This is what I saw.....................

Smash was lovingly and gently stroking Audrey's head and cooing to her,
" You are a brave kitty Audrey,.... It must have hurt heaps....... look at your beautiful babies.... you are such a good girl...."

He then picked up one of Audrey's hind legs and stared in amazement at her swollen vagina.

This was the bit that melted me.

"Oh look at your poor sore fanny Audrey........ It looks much less sore today though..... good girl...."

And with that our little midwife was born.

He has checked and fed and cuddled the shit out of those cats every five minutes, every day for six weeks.

He is proud to announce to every one he meets he is going to be a midwife when he gets big just like his Auntie.

He has a respect  for the female body and all it can do, in a way that I couldn't have possibly explained to him in words or with picture books.

What a lesson to learn.

I am proud of you dear boy.
I think you'd make a great midwife



Anonymous said...

Too cute, Emma. You may turn me into a cat lover still? Funny as hell and still so sweet.A tin of cat food, wtf alright! LOL

Im sure your little man would make a great midwife :)

Amy xx

suburp said...

awrgh gad that's one dramatic post!!. and your boy, just wow.. my son was only a baby when i had a litter of bull terriers and it was seriously, one of the most stressful and still greatest moments in my life (1 born at home in obvious pain, one stuck but out at vet and 4 more by cesarian - she still nursed them, with the scar.. so proud)

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

too too cute ...your little midwife is adorable.
My 17yr son's cat is having kittens ...wonder how he will go :)

Anonymous said...

Nawwwww & what a fine midwife you will make buddy. We need more male midwives. Love Aunty Jane xxxxx

Trik82 said...

Omg, what an amazing blog... I am typing through tears! I'm in love with your family and little male midwife :o)
Thank you for sharing.... so beautiful ahhhhh.
MoodiMumma xox

Gina Alfani said...

What an awesome and sweet post . . . Audrey looks like a stray cat we just took in . . .not really sure if it is male or female . . . I may be needing the little midwife soon!! :)

Thank you so much for following my blog . . . I am following you back!

Have an awesome day . . . Gina

. . . and many more blogs!

River said...

Definitely sounds like a midwife in the making, or possibly a vet.
So sweet.