Saturday, February 5, 2011



Consider yourself Warned
The following post is rated O For Overshare, and contains Sexual references.
If you are a relative, you should probably not venture any further.

Champ and I have been married for ten years this year.
Between us we have 2 jobs, we also made three children, we are particularly proud of these,  each own a dog and a cat,  we also have 5 chooks and the next door neighbours kid seems to have moved in sometime over the school holidays.

This leaves little time or energy for loving.
It's not that is doesn't happen, Just not all that often and at odd times of night.
Most of the time, it is the age old battle between sex and sleep,.. Sleep is rarer than fairy turd in our house, and almost always wins out.

At some unearthly hour of the night recently, sometime after normal people are asleep and infomercials lap at their subconscious, Sleep lost.

There was a bit of a pash and as it happens, my husband was mid de_- pantsing when the squeaky little voice of my two year old piped up from the door way
" ... its too hot pants on.... drink pease?" 

apparently she was in agreeance that it certainly was too hot for having pants on, and required a drink... please.
At three AM................, Is there any guaranteed sacred hour of the day or night?
In the flurry of sheet grabbing and phsycological damage minimising, The TV remote was flung..(yeah...  our feng shui is flowing madly) .... flung from the sheets like some black, pointy missile and clocked me square, in the bridge of my nose......
Now I have this and a small problem.

I am a terrible liar, My eyes are blackening and need to invent some plausible lie to tell, should anyone ask what happened.

Bloody Kids... This is why I cant have nice things... or sex.!



Glowless @ Where's My Glow said...

Hahhahahahhaa! This is some serious funny shit Emma! I even read it out to my husband who is also having a chuckle, possibly because he realizes that there is another guy out there having about as much sex as he is.

lori said...

funny! You'll have to let us know what story you came up with to tell.

River said...

TV remotes should never be kept on the bed.
I don't see how your three year old would be psychologically damaged by seeing both of you naked. She herself said it's too hot for pants. She would assume you two were also hot.