Saturday, February 12, 2011

Inspired- Almost nothing like plagiarism

I was recently clicking through the archives of a few of my favorite bloggers and found these.... a Tribal Wives Series of posts, Bloggers taking the piss out yummy mummy's in their natural habitat.
The Yummy mummy's differ, according to where in the world your post is stamped from.

From my research...( reading this.)..... Yummy Mummy's from The Leafy Sydney Burbs by RRSAHM

The Idea was born here,.... at Tribal Wives of Britain by Vegemite Vix.
Along with these two,
The Tribal Wives phenomenon continues.....

Tribal wives  - Rural Finland                                          By Notes From Lapland 
                          - Rural Catalonia                                      By Very Bored in Catalonia
                          - Of the North Shore os Sydney               By Woogs World
                          - The Reluctant School Gate Mum             By  Missy M -Blesom and Blether
                          - Of Baltimore                                           By Emma K, Mummy has a headache
                          - Of Blogosphere                                       By Readily a Parent
                          -In the Netherlands                                    By Hibiscus Bloem
                          - Of Ankara                                               By Paris Ankara Express  
                            Urban London House Husband                By GoonerJamie
                          - Of New Zealand                                       By Moments Of Whimsy
                          - Wellington NZ                                           By Catching The Magic
                          - The London City Holliday addition             By London City Mum

Never one to pass up an opportunity to chuck in my two cents uninvited, or grab onto the fringe of every fad

I present
Tribal Wives of The Southern Highlands
Sydneys Outer Tartan Petticoat.

Once upon a time, Newtown and The Western Suburbs had a sordid Romeo and Juliet like affair, got knocked up, couldn't afford to live in Redfern, so they moved a comfortable hourish distance from the CBD to live with their cousin Cleatis, and gave birth to The Southern Highlands.

As a yummy mummy from the Southern Highlands you may purchase an acre or two in some estate in the middle of nowhere, and as long as it is larger that 850m2 you may tell yourself, friends and fellow school mums that its a farm.

You will pay a premium for said farm and it's inconvenient distance to any decent shopping districts, you may shop locally down at the fortnightly Farmers and Producers markets, where you can buy a multitude of items from organic fruit, veg and honey... to organic goats milk soap.

If the Market does not suffice, or your child gets invited to a birthday party, you may venture into the local township.
It is there that you will find that among the busy metropolis of Real Estate Agents, Pubs, Cafes and Hairdressers, you probably wont find what you are looking for....
So you will drive the 20 minutes in some sort of diesel powered 4WD...(you have a farm remember) to Campbelltown, where you will shop to your heats content at Macarthur Square, and then choke the planet again for 20 measly minutes back to your farm and breathe a sigh of relief  when you  kid yourself that you don't live anywhere near Campbelltown or its modern medical facilities and convenience.


You may choose to open a business, you must call said business either something On Argyle, with Argyle in the name, or you may use your last name as long as it can be shortened with an O.. Like Benno's Robbo's or Johnno's.
Once you have the name sorted, you may cram your wares or services down the throats of locals, by pimping out your children to the local sporting team, preferably Rugby League, Net Ball, or Pony Club.

You may then guilt fellow parents into keeping your business afloat by sponsoring said team and lecturing them on the importance of buying locally in between bursts of "Go son!... Go!...GOOOO!....... aww, he cant run without legs boys!!!!" from the sidelines.

If you cannot open a business Chances are either you or your hubby make the hourish commute to the CBD by Country train, and in winter you will stand on one of the various quaint platforms in either a duffel or sports coat, with a tartan Scarf of some description, politely nodding or blatantly ignoring those dressed in Adidas when they mistake you for a thermometer with greetings like, ..."faaarck.. how cold is it?"
"I don't know.... 4?.. go away"

Acceptable conversation Topics

Include but are not limited to,
What childcare or school your child will be attending, volunteering at the school canteen, weather or not you support a local MacDonald's, the various dance/ karate classes in neighbouring towns your children attend with classier names than those in your home town, and your children's boring sporting achievements or your boring Aus Tag team.

It is acceptable to mispronounce the names of discounted shopping outlets like " I heard they had one of those at Aldi's" with an S like you have never had the need to shop there, and there fore are unsure of the correct pronunciation.

Unacceptable topics of conversation include;

Anything negative to any ones face, however behind their back and before the said person arrives at school to pick up their child is OK, the fact that you are renting for any other reason than renovating your current farm and your actual distance to Campbelltown.

What do you wear when you have exhausted tartan?

It is acceptable to look like you are heading to or from the gym at any time, even if you aren't, any free flowing dress in summer, and duffel/ sports coats with tartan scarf in winter.
Failing this
Jeans/cargo shorts and a T is the uniform for the school run. however
your hair must be worn in some sort of intricate blonde pony tail, bleached and styled by a Friend at mates rates at one of the four hundred local hairdressers.

Yummy Mummy Southern Style.


P.S If I missed yours, please email the link so I may include it.


Mumstrosity said...

haha I love reading these. Maybe I'll write one one day

Glowless @ Where's My Glow said...

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery :P

Veggie Mama said...

No shit, as I was reading this, someone started playing bagpipes. BAGPIPES. On the Sunshine Coast.

vegemitevix said...

Sweet as, as Glowless said 'imitation is a sincerest form of flattery'. I am hoping to get these published in an ebook form. WOuld you be keen on having yours included?

whatsinemmasbrain said...

Absolutely! Keep me posted, :)