Friday, April 15, 2011

Dear School Holidays... You are a trollop.

Dear School Holidays,

It is with great regret that I inform you that you and I are no longer friends, I really do not want to drag this out so I will get straight to the point.

It seems that you arrived at our house a little earlier than I expected... I mean think about it.... you only left a few weeks ago, and that time you kind of overstayed your welcome... I remind you....Six weeks? What is that all about?
I still not have rectified all of the damage you caused in my house the last time you were here.

Your recent arrival has severely upset the balance I had going on and ... you seem to be bringing out the worst in my children.

I am from the school of "do it... because I said so... Or I'll Knock Your Block Off" This was always an idle threat of course... there was never any actual block knocking... I did on the odd occasion find myself with a big old smack.

Now I don't know if it is because it is not necessarily the done thing these days, I will dish one out should the occasion be good for it and I am certainly not anti smacking, but I haven't really ever had a great need to smack my kids,....... I am sure the lady in Coles with the hole in her mince would beg to differ... but generally, they are pretty good.
However, since your arrival .....I have never wanted to knock all three of their little blocks off as much in their little lives as I have in these last 5 days... yes we are only five days in.

They have been ignoring me, it's as though your presence is somehow making me invisible.......if that is not bad enough... you also seem to have somehow confused them on the difference between not being physically able to do something... and not wanting to do something...
Any and all of my very reasonable requests have been continuously met with protests of.. " I cant.".. "I don't know how.........." and more recently from Ms 2.. "I cant want to...."

Do you really want to know what the cherry topper of it all is though?

Every time you come around, you bring with you an entourage of neighbourhood children ..and the rest... I mean... I cant find any where to park or even the room to maneuver through all of the places it is necessary for me to frequent... This is never a problem when you are not here.

I guess I have said all I need to say....

This just really isn't working...... I think It would be best if you just piss off on the horse you rode in on... you are a trollop.

Emma


FYBF

5 comments:

Photographer Mum said...

Oh the joys I have to look forward to...

Krafty Max Originals said...

Hop'pin by from 'FlogYoBlog Friday'. I'm following your blog now, wont you please come and follow me back?? ~KM

Krafty Max Originals

Glowless @ Where's My Glow said...

Bahaha! Make sure you do the block knocking soon so that they'll be quiet for the rest of the holidays and the bruises will have faded by the time school starts again.

Catch the Kids said...

Emma, you made me laugh. Kind of. We've already had one lot of holidays from one school and now I'm facing the next shift with the prep girls. Nearly six weeks in all And it's only EASTER! Getting a funny little tic here...

Jane said...

Emma, that is hilarious! Holidays start for mine on Thursday. Only a week though. Hope I can deal with that!