Thursday, May 5, 2011

The day I figured out I am not really a bitch....



I am in the midst of a massive sleep disturbance, The middle child is having night terrors, he refuses to go to sleep,... when he does... he will not stay asleep for long. I sit in on the end of his bed, prop my head against something sturdy and go back to sleep.. waking periodically with a start to resume patting....

I know how he feels, I was a bad sleeper as a kid...
 I used to have nightmares about clowns... I still hate them. They are disturbing.
 A friend of mine was a clown for a while. She was the prettiest clown I had ever seen, but if she had have come near me dressed like that, I may have stabbed her with a fork.
They simply terrify me.
This may have something to do with the fact that, when I was quite young... I snuck out into the hallway one night and watched IT from behind the sofa... I still cannot walk past a drain without thinking... "We all float down here......." Fucked. Up.

So, I feel bad for him, but I do not function well with this little sleep, I am Captain Crabby Arse, and I cannot remember my own name.
Let me share with you a snippet of my day recently.....

I woke... I think... enough to walk any way... one lost school shoe, one cat vomit, two refused weetbix and we were in the car..... one forgotten school bag and we were back in the car... I went grocery shopping and forgot nearly everything I needed... good thing is I now have eighteen different types of pasta  ............. another plus...I learned that my cats will eat pasta if there is nothing else.
On my shopping trip I took part in
One filthy look to someone trying to shove a pamphlet in my face,  then one lady tried to stop me as I was walking to ask me to come and sit down for a special treat... of a face full of mineral make up!!!
I didn't say it but Emma's brain thought...
Piss off... I am wearing make up you insulting cow....
What I did say was... "What?...am I not pretty enough?...." then my eye twitched because I was so tired and she backed right off... she looked a little scared.
I arrived home to a ringing telephone... I ran to get it kicked my toe on the vacuum cleaner......That hurts like childbirth of the toe... I did all of this for it to be a telemarketer.
I let them have it. I felt a little better.
Then I fell onto the lounge and got shitty that guys have ride on lawn mowers but not one arsehole ever thought to make a ride on vacuum cleaner, all the while Ms two poked her sharp little finger nails under my eyelids screeching "Wake Up Geoff!!!!"... I don't remember much after that...


Last night though, Middle child slept through the night with a little help from doctor Phenergan... (and yes.. I did check with a doctor first... mind your own friggen business)

I woke the next morning feeling very strange..... Then I realised I was actually rested... I will tell you how my day went...........
I forgot about the mothers day stall... sorry kiddo.. I will by you some mighty beans...
  a telemarketer rang and I was pleasant..
I made small talk with the lady at the post office,
I was visited by religious types feeding my anxiety and terror with stories of the world ending...
Try as the universe might... I was incapable of being pissed off ...all day.
So turns out... I am not a massive sour and bullshit intolerant bitch...
I was just tired.
I have decided that this year,
all I want for mothers day is a sleep, followed by a nap... followed by an early night...


What do you want?

Emmaxx


FYBF

10 comments:

Glowless @ Where's My Glow said...

Well it's written in tmw's post but I suppose I can let u in on it early - I want a sleep in then a few hours to myself :) No fucking small appliances or slippers.

Fussy Eater's Mum said...

My Darlings are now 5 and 6 and still all I want for Mother's Day is a sleep in. I'll probably have to wait until I'm dead...

I'm here from FYBF. Look forward to reading more!

Ames said...

Clowns are damn scary. I don't like them. I, like you also, like sleep. Here's to a sleep filled Mother's Day!

The Mummy Hat said...

I'm glad you finally got some sleep!
I signed up with the Do Not Call Register (Australian Do Not Call Register. Individuals can list their fixed line and mobile telephone numbers to opt out of receiving certain telemarketing calls.
https://www.donotcall.gov.au/) because of the wonderful timing telemarketers seemed to have (though really, when would be a good time? Probably half past never!)

Do whatever you need to do to survive I say!

Stoping by from FYB

Miss Pink said...

I feel you on the no sleep thing. Greenie has been keeping me up since last week, throw a move of houses, and change of schools into that, and i am one tired cookie.

Trik82 said...

LOVED it!! i could have been reading a day out of my own life lol!

Hope you have a restful Mothers Day!! xo

The Mother Experiment said...

visiting thanks to FYBF. Loving your honesty. I'm not a bitch either, not really, although lately I seem to be making a lot of people cry and a lot of people are making me cry. Maybe being pregnant and chasing a teething non-sleeping wiggle-addicted toddler might be part to do with it. (ps telemarketers are probably used to abuse. as sad as that is. they probably prefer it to being hung up on instantly, at least it is more interesting)

Clairey said...

Hee hee..it's nice to know I'm not the only bitch on wheels with her hair on fire when I don't sleep. I warn everyone as best I can, but....

Lene said...

Clowns freak me out.....but not as much as the freaking Easter Bunny, the kids may be ok with him but the thought of a six foot bunny hopping through my house gives me the creeps.
Found your blog after reading your post on kidspot and laughing my a*** off. Will be back!

Mrs Woog said...

Sleep and silence