Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Big Energy Drink Come Down......

When I met Mr Emma's Brain, he was a young and handsome skate boarding God.

At first I was annoyed by him. He would harass me daily at my after School job at the local Pauline Hanson, He would come in after some great ramp achievement and order a bacon and egg roll and a coke.
This one particularly bad day at work, just a few hours after my dog Sampson had been run over, (Got rest his awful, awful breath) Mr Emma's Brain and his posse entered the shop.

 Now...because looking back.... I used to be an idiot, and I was most likely splashing my dramatically sad face all over the shop, Mr Emma's Brain asked me why I looked so sad.
I told him that my dog had been run over by a gigantic Orange Tarago and had died.
Do you know what he said?

"Oh........ It's not the end of the world.... You can always get a new dog.... Yeah.  I'll just have a bacon and egg roll and a coke, Ta"
Yeah Ta. Just like that.

I decided hence forth that I hated him, and because I also used to be a massive tart, I would wear the shortest uniform my mother would allow me to walk out of the house in, and I would Hike it up another 10cm the minute I was out of view, and I made it my mission to let him know just how much I despised him.

       Nice safety gear Jerk... x

A few years later, his damn persistence won me over and I agreed to a date.
Turns out he wasn't so bad....

When I eventually saw the inside of his bedroom, I wasn't too fazed by the skateboarding posters, 8,428 hats or basketball memorabilia too much... He was a boy.... I wasn't meant to understand it.

 Fast forward a bit, we now have three kids and are renovating our first home... Problem is...

 His 8,428 hats have multiplied to 8 428000, and his various crappy 18 year old Boy memorabilia are still invading my space, crapping up the atmosphere.

The worst of it?

He has been collecting cans!
 specifically energy drink cans. This Obsession really took off during his employment with an energy drink company,  It meant he could source energy drink cans from anywhere in the world...... whenever they hit the shelves.

There is something a bit special about people who collect cans......there used to be this guy... that walked around our home town collecting cans.
 I don't know what his name was, but we used to call him Anton.....because of his frequent bin dipping and the sweet nectar of sugar in the bottom of the cans, he was always covered with a million ants.

I married Anton Jr.

Now for those in the back, I am renovating my Kitchen currently, (Thanks to Soup, Everdure and Bunnings) and the space that really should be our dining space is filled with cans.

It is a dark and claustrophobic space, piled high with sugary, caffeine filled garbage. The addition of our fabulous new Kitchen means that something has to give. I decided last night that the energy cans were it.

Bring on the mother of all fights, I wont bore you with the details... only there was much yelling and tears... I eventually won of course, which usually leaves me feeling like an evil Cow.. But not this time... no.

Bye bye.

It feels so good...

(it was one O'clock in the morning people... please excuse the hair... but seriously.... Suck it energy drink cans!!! Under the house you go until such a time as Mr Emma's brain builds himself a Manavan, and lines it's precious wall with your oppressive tinniness......


To celebrate! The wonderful people at Soup and Everdure have put together an exclusive bonus package, for those of you looking to upgrade your Kitchen appliances...

Only until 20 February 2012.
Spend between $1000 - $1500
on Everdure’s kitchen
appliances and receive a
$100 Bunnings Gift Card
Spend between $1500 - $2000
on Everdure’s kitchen
appliances and receive a
$200 Bunnings Gift Card

To redeem your gift card:
Please visit the Everdure website on, and register for the promo with
your promo code: 1935
to or post a copy of
your receipt to Soup Campaign, Locked Bag 2008,
Lane Cove, 2066 (don’t forget to let us know your
postal address, so we can mail your gift card).
, & either email us your receiptOffer is valid from 5 August to 20 February 2012 and not to be used in conjunction with any other offer.

.Emma xx
Everdure Offer
Exclusively to Soupers & friends!

Purchase a Everdure rangehood, built-in oven and cooktop in one transaction at
Bunnings and receive a Bunnings Gift Card to help finish off your DIY project!


tmd05 said...

You EVIL COW!! ;-)

Miss Pink said...

Now want to share your tips for winning such fights? Mr Black has quite a few "man things" lying around I would love to part with.

Kellie said...

My Irishman has a hat collection. I pray it's time is coming to an end, because I'm sick of dusting the fuckers!