Friday, October 28, 2011

Happy Friday... Happy Happy Friday.

I could dance around the backyard singing and dancing to 'The Age of Aquarious' (I wont, because it is VINNY) I could however, because......

The bench tops ARE DOWN!!!!!!!!!

Dramatic pause.

I am finally able to sit Evelyn, Our Brand Spanking new oven, in her laminate casing, power her up.... and Switch her on!!!

I am now cooking with oven people.... Sort of.
I really cant wait, I have turned her on to 200 degrees to give her a burn up for two hours and burn the new oven smell out of her, But I have a roast the size of Deni Hines's head to stuff in there this weekend.

The greatest thing about this is that the oven door has a child lock clip and is very cool to touch, even at 200 degrees. I don't have to do the mad.. oo oo DONT TOUCH!!! BURNIES!! dance at dinner time.
I  of course still have to be vigilant, just not as panicked if I must duck to the loo.

Most of the doors are on... Our spaceship cook top is ready for the electrician.
Pipes are roughed in for Jeeves, our new dishwasher.

I must say I am very proud.
Until yesterday, and excluding the plumbing and electrics, Mr Emmasbrain had managed to do all of this ourselves...

We Scrubbed, Painted, hammered, Leveled, sawed, circular sawed, jigsawed, puttied (yes it's a word) membraned, sealed, drilled, screwed, chocked, scraped, smashed, glued, liquid nailed, measured, grouted and the list goes on and on and on... and so do I .

We also Swore a lot, and rolled our eyes, we yelled at the cat, and swore at the cat.
Birds were flipped, There was mimicking, sarcasm, dirty looks, the SILENT TREATMENT was dispensed.......

This addition brought about the biggest fight in our Marital history.

Our bench tops in all of their black shininess, about 2.5m long and heavier than anything I had ever attempted to lift, lay begging in our hallway for the best part of several weeks.
The time had arrived to unwrap them from their cardboard cocoon and inside, along with the bench tops was a little instructional leaflet.
It went through the attachment and sealing of the bench tops and then there was a little blurb on cutting them......

There was then a bit more eye rolling and MR EMMASBRAIN cracked out the circular saw.

After much pleading from me to please call Mitre 10, or at least use a freaking set square Mr Emmasbrain ignored me and went about cutting.

I am just going to say

Quite a few attempts later, I called in a friend, whom shall remain nameless as he is a dentist and I cant show you his face on TV, but.....
A word of advice if you are ever in a similar situation....
Heed the wisdom of the leaflet.

If the good peeps at the place that the bench tops are manufactured tell you to call in a professional.... CALL IN THE PROFESSIONAL.
Don't attempt to do it yourself, it is just too hard, too heavy and too swear filled.

Mr Emmasbrain and I recently celebrated our 10year wedding anniversary,
Yes I know.. Less time for murder and all that..   It.  Never.  Gets.  Old.   But after 10 years our fights had reached a comfortable and predictable pattern of once a month..*cough Cough* and with the entrance of DAVE into any of my business.

For the first time in our marital career, the big guns were called in.

I may, or may not have told Mr Emmasbrain that I would no longer be renewing our wedding vows in Vegas, as I would then have the inconvenience of having to divorce him in two countries.

REASON FOR DIVORCE.. Bench top attachment issues.

Mr Emmasbrain may or may not have called me a control freak, power hungry, sarcastic succubus.
I cant be sure as he was already running away.

I Cried... mostly from laughing... In came the dentist, Down went the bench tops and you know what I learned?

If our marriage can survive DIY bench tops.... We can survive anything.

Emma xx


Penny said...

Gosh - that's a big roast if it's the size of Deni's head (seeing her head has to house that whopping great big mouth of hers).

WD and I have survived a renovation and a house built from scratch.

And J-Lo and Marc Anthony have never given the real reason for their split. Perhaps it was because of benchtop attachment issues too.

Looks great, by the way.

Good Golly Miss Holly! said...


You're kitchen is looking spankin' and I now know if we ever reno, I must move to Mum's to avoid divorce x

MummyK said...

Ohhh loving the style!! Yay!

Miss Pink said...

I love how this kitchen really wasn't about having a new kitchen but just a test to see if Mr Emmasbrain was really "the one"

And I have total kitchen envy. Like MEGA.

Zoey @ Good Googs said...

I have the kitchen lust. And having a strong urge to destroy my own benchtops