I love twitter, I am currently writing a really bad guide to using twitter for people not on twitter.... Too many twitters in one sentence, twitter.
Writing a guide to twitter would be Ok, if I didn't use it so badly... However I have learnt two things about teaching in my life time,
"if you can't do.. Teach... " -fellow smart arse.
"I just have to stay one lesson ahead of the students" -Marge Simpson.
I have had an increasing difficulty with twitter of late.
This difficulty I am having is in the form of my husband... joining the twitter sphere.
Is NOTHING SACRED I ask???
It is not his general being on twitter that annoys me, or the fact that he EVERYBODY on twitter loves him, or that his handle is a fanny hair away from being my handle, or that he is funnier on twitter than me, or that Barney Martin now knows I have a husband.....
and in some ways, it is definitely a plus...
Like when it makes my rambling on about other bloggers and blogs easier to understand, and when I talk to him in native blogger, he can follow the general gist of it.
Or when he reminds me of up coming events that pop up on the twitter stream and points out the best links I may have missed,
Or when he wins Wiggles tickets.... I'm trying really hard here.
What I have a problem with, is him tweeting me, from the same house, occasionally the same room, sometimes, even, from the. same. lounge.
Occasionally he tells me he is tweeting me, and then he will tell me what he is tweeting then he will giggle whilst he tweets it, and then he will ask me if I got it....
You just know Dr Phil is having a nervous breakdown at the demoralization of our relationship communication as we speak, turning red and puffing out his mo.
(I personally don't think anyone sporting a permanent mustache should be dispensing relationship advice, won't somebody please think of the
Point is, you don't, it probably says so in the bible some where, Though shalt not send messenger birds to ones spouse from the same dwelling.
I would NEVER tweet him back I vowed.... Or so I thought.
It began like this....
I was sharing in a delightful twitter conversation, with an certain Author, lets call her EminSack regarding Eminem's Australian tour, and his general appeal to the bad boy genius gene in us all, and as it happens when it's late, the topic became more of a comical sexual fantasy situation, involving Dr Dre, the entire D12 clan, a video camera, live rapping, candles for mood lighting and of course Eminem.
It was fantastic for me, That is until MY HUSBAND joined in.
I jumped out of D12's metaphorical water bed faster than you could say who farted.
I replied telling him, in no uncertain terms that Husbands have absolutely no business in adulterous sexual fantasy situation.. Ever...and was happy to be backed up with a few ever ever evereverevers. Ever.
I need your help.
He needs more twitter friends, I can not remove him from the twitter stream now, he is in too far.
So I figure he just needs more people to talk to.... Many, many, more people to distract him from my business and Eminem fantasies.
Also, ...and this is purely because I like to fuck with him...... if you wanted to tweet him ...whatever you would like, would you please chuck in the hash tag #cabbage somewhere, you can even just tweet him #cabbage if you like..I thank you, It will amuse me to no end.
Finally! ...He must never know.
I am lucky in the sense that he only pretends to read my blog, so our secret is safe here..for now... HERE is a link to his twitter page.... Go, get cabbaging....I Shall keep you informed.
PS- don't judge me.... What would you do if your significant other was on twitter? Are they?