Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The stuff I write down so I that I don't ever say them out loud

To The Waiter at the Surry Hills Cafe.

I like burgers Ok?

I'm Gen X, that is the one before yours, and I grew up in the South Western Sydney, so when someone says lunch, I automatically think Maccas, it's not my fault, and sometimes it leaves me with a burger craving.

I also like them with copious amounts of onion, this is not a personal slight on you, and It's not like I am asking you to smell my onion breath as proof you have added the required amount, and Although there is no app for it, it is really not to difficult at all.
I would just like you to take the amount of onion you would usually add to your burger and do it twice, that's it, I don't even mind paying a little extra for it.

I know the dress I am wearing clearly comes from Target, but from where I am from, it doesn't matter, so sometimes I forget that you might worry I can not afford my burger and cappo when I dress in the morning.

I can however sympathize as to why you worry so much... I mean 23 bucks?!? Dude, it's not marijuana, it's a burger.

To be fair and I'm just going to come right out and say it..., I didn't so much like your out fit either.

Back in my day we didn't wear skin tight, mid thigh length, pink shorts unless they were fluro, or we were forced to, like they were part of a work uniform.

You may not remember those, but they were something you wore in the work place so that the general public could decipher employees from other members of the general public... Or in your case Jesus....Bitch please, get a hair cut, its not Newtown man ....................And before you start, It's not that I have an aversion to long hair on guys or anything.... But your particular style screams Nickleback fan, and that's never cool..and I'm from south Western Sydney like I said... So I would know.

I guess what I am saying is a name tag would be nice, or even if you just came over and announced that you were the waitstaff, that would also be effective, failing that if you could even just stand in the general vicinity of the cash register or something......
You see, charging 23 bucks for a burger and coffee is rude enough, it would be nice if I didn't feel like I was interrupting your coffee, to pay for mine if you get my drift.

Anyway, I'm finished my burger, and this blog post so I will be happily fucking off now. (That's south West Sydney for Leaving)

Yours troolee from the Wesssside.
Emma xx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


Miss Pink said...

Note to self, if I ever feel hungry in Surry Hills, just keep driving till I get home.

Kate said...


You tell them! :)

Kel said...

Holy crap - did the burger come with shares in the company! I'd wanna be fucking CEO for that price!

Mich said...

did it have fancy lettuce and relish on it?
'Work' uniforms lately, I have put into the catagory that Mrs Woog calls 'Denim Underpants'.
Totally innapropriate. Its either ass or boobs hanging out.
Who really wants to see that while their eating?