Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Telstra's Turn. There is no end to my complaining.


Oh Telstra..... Telstra, Telstra, Telstra....

As I am writing this, I'm shaking my head Solemnly whilst smiling a smile of inner contempt and frustration.

Every. Effing. Time. it rains, my line crackles.

I do not receive phone calls.

My Internet connection is sluggish and my wifi turns into the spinning wheel of death.

I use view your service, much the same way I view Country link Train service or the M5.
Good for nothing, Subpar service that I bend down and touch my toes to pay for, for no other reason than it is necessary, because of where I am located.

I fork out $147 a month to use your service, and quite frankly, I would much rather use the toilet after Courtney Love than continue to do so, however...I have no choice.

I have rung to complain about this issue several times, you even sent out a repair man who scratched his head a lot, and finally said that he required a shovel and he pissed of to find someone who had a shovel.

Two men returned, one with a shovel, #winning... and promptly began to dig up my front yard.

The problem was still not resolved, however you provided my cats with recently turned soil in which to crap.

Cheers.

Not too long ago, you called me, (before the rain...obviously) to enquire as to whether or not I was receiving the right value from my plan.....

I began my rant.

Now I know it is your policy to employ sock puppets, but this guy was actually alright, in my mind he looked like David Boreanaz, so let's call him David.

Do you know what David told me?

Well,....At first he laughed a lot, while he listened to my rant, because I am charismatic and amusing... I know he was trying not to laugh.... At first.......

Then David divulged to me that he had a mobile phone using TPG.... fucking TPG!!!, (née Soul, née B mobile née.... iinet or something...) HA! Fo Shame!! Suck a Fart!!

Anyway, I told him that I was with Amaysim for my mobile service, and he asked me about it, by the end of the conversation he was ready to duck down to City convenience and buy a sim card in his lunch break, because I.am.that. Good at sales, and you are clearly That.Fucked at everything.

I don't even like Amaysim immensely, however, I have very little complaint, (and believe me I like myself a good complaining..) I chose them because they are cheaper, and not you.


Also, I can not articulate just how much I despise you, and I regret to inform you that You have now joined Budget Direct advertising and PR management, Crinities Darling Harbour and CommBank on my list of people who are not my friend.

OK?... Excellent.

Emma.

***EDIT NOTE***
Telstra have since refunded my line rental for the previous twelve months with a promise the issue will be addressed and fixed by 7pm tomorrow.
We are still not friends, but I appreciate the gesture


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

14 comments:

katepickle said...

Can I PLEASE employ you to rant to telstra on our behalf?!?!?!?

We have the SAME issue... no land line when it rains a lot. EVERY TIME we call to complain they trot out the same line 'if the fault is on your property you will have to pay blah blah' and EVERY time the fault is magically NOT on our property, or on any of our neighbors who have the same problem.. so they dig a whole, dry it out and it works... till it rains again!

And lets not start on our internet. We have wireless as that is the only option, we have telstra because that is THE ONLY OPTION and they know it. I am convinced they have oversold the wireless network here because it simply doesn't work between 4pm and 11pm... and yet we pay twice as much as people 15 kms away and get a measly 7gig a month....

And they want us to sign up for another 2 year contract!

Oh I am ranting about your rant now... but please come and rant for us, or give me lessons, I hate talking on the phone!

whatsinemmasbrain said...

Oh! I would be happy to.
Just tweet them the link and tell them you ate having the same problem! It makes me irate that they have the monopoly.......

Mrs Savage said...

I should be on their payroll the amount of time I have wasted being on hold and searching for the phone numbers of Telstra departments on Whirlpool because their customer service has no idea what I'm taking about. I pray for the international call centre now because they at least seem to like their job. Glad you got a refund though.

Miss Pink said...

Telstra have been alright to me, but fuck, I live in suburbia they'd want to be!
However since moving here my wireless cuts out any time you use the phone. Broadband FAIL. I called up to complain and they told me that they would send me out a new modem, at cost to me. Um no. I'm not paying for a new fucking modem when you have already given me one for free. It should fucking work, it's not even 2 years old! Then they told me I was eligable for my bandwidth to be upgraded at no extra cost, and no contracts. I get a letter 2 weeks later stating I am not locked into a contract. FUCK OFF Telstra. How about you try fixing the fucking problem I cam to you with and sticking to your fucking word.

whatsinemmasbrain said...

I agree, the international call centre were very helpful.

whatsinemmasbrain said...

This is what annoys me most, Telsra need to stop acting as though they are doing customers a massive favor by providing a service we pay inflated prices for.
Stick to your guns. :)

Natalie said...

Telstra makes you pay premium price for the worst service ever. They manage to make as many fuck ups if not more than the incompetent arses at Dodo, so I stick with Dodo because at a tenth of the price why wouldn't I?

If I pay $20 a month I expect that kind of service. Paying Telstra hundreds of dollars a month for the same $20 worth of service? No fucking way. After many years I am finally an ex Telstra customer and suddenly can afford to put money in my savings. Coincidence? Or conspiracy?

whatsinemmasbrain said...

If I could get a decent Internet connection with ANYONE else, I would jump ship. ANYONE else.

Tara @ Our Whirlwind Adventures said...

Hahaha.
I effing hate Telstra too.
Probably shouldn't put that on the Internet because they might cut our modem off and if Hubby's World of Warcraft raid is interrupted, cunts will die!
Cunts being Telstra.

River said...

The refund is a consolation at least and perhaps Telstra will lift its game now?
In case others get busy ranting at them and also require refunds which might eat into their hefty profit margin.

Denwise aka Denyse Whelan said...

Telstra cut off our two phone lines last year because THEY hadn't bothered to follow their own instructions. Too long a story but let me say......EVERYONE HERE? Listen up. two words:
TELECOMMUNICATIONS OMBUDSMAN

That series of events have earned our account a refund of $100s of dollars...biggests reductions etc and THE RED MARKS against our account mean if EVER we have a problem, TELECOMMUNCIATIONS OMBUDSMAN PREVIOUS COMPAINT alerts them to BE NICE, PLAY NICE ...

Next bit of news, I still hate them for being the monopoly so am incredibly excited to say I'm all for the NBN. Our iinet Internet line must use Telstra line and is ADSL1. So sick of it, to get me over the slow connections, bought. 4G mobile broadband. I know I live in Sydney suburbia but the copper lines in this exchange we are still connected to have been divided so many times they are almost threadbare

whatsinemmasbrain said...

Great point, if symptoms persist, please call your Telephone Ombudsman

whatsinemmasbrain said...

We can only hope River, I think that is the only thing that will make them pay attention.

whatsinemmasbrain said...

If there was a like button for comments, I would like this one. :D