Oh Telstra..... Telstra, Telstra, Telstra....
As I am writing this, I'm shaking my head Solemnly whilst smiling a smile of inner contempt and frustration.
Every. Effing. Time. it rains, my line crackles.
I do not receive phone calls.
My Internet connection is sluggish and my wifi turns into the spinning wheel of death.
I use view your service, much the same way I view Country link Train service or the M5.
Good for nothing, Subpar service that I bend down and touch my toes to pay for, for no other reason than it is necessary, because of where I am located.
I fork out $147 a month to use your service, and quite frankly, I would much rather use the toilet after Courtney Love than continue to do so, however...I have no choice.
I have rung to complain about this issue several times, you even sent out a repair man who scratched his head a lot, and finally said that he required a shovel and he pissed of to find someone who had a shovel.
Two men returned, one with a shovel, #winning... and promptly began to dig up my front yard.
The problem was still not resolved, however you provided my cats with recently turned soil in which to crap.
Not too long ago, you called me, (before the rain...obviously) to enquire as to whether or not I was receiving the right value from my plan.....
I began my rant.
Now I know it is your policy to employ sock puppets, but this guy was actually alright, in my mind he looked like David Boreanaz, so let's call him David.
Do you know what David told me?
Well,....At first he laughed a lot, while he listened to my rant, because I am charismatic and amusing... I know he was trying not to laugh.... At first.......
Then David divulged to me that he had a mobile phone using TPG.... fucking TPG!!!, (née Soul, née B mobile née.... iinet or something...) HA! Fo Shame!! Suck a Fart!!
Anyway, I told him that I was with Amaysim for my mobile service, and he asked me about it, by the end of the conversation he was ready to duck down to City convenience and buy a sim card in his lunch break, because I.am.that. Good at sales, and you are clearly That.Fucked at everything.
I don't even like Amaysim immensely, however, I have very little complaint, (and believe me I like myself a good complaining..) I chose them because they are cheaper, and not you.
Also, I can not articulate just how much I despise you, and I regret to inform you that You have now joined Budget Direct advertising and PR management, Crinities Darling Harbour and CommBank on my list of people who are not my friend.
Telstra have since refunded my line rental for the previous twelve months with a promise the issue will be addressed and fixed by 7pm tomorrow.
We are still not friends, but I appreciate the gesture
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