Monday, July 2, 2012

Deadly serious.

Friday Night. I had Band *Practice* I use the term practice loosely, because we didn't actually Practice so much as worked out a song list in between glasses of wine, but I wasn't going to kick about it because I had a fabulous time and it gave my crack whore manicure time to recover,



Unsightly isn't it?

The next day, I awoke feeling the wrath of grapes, and after deciding that the only cure for my pounding head was sunshine, I ventured out to the front garden, in my pajamas... and after a few minutes, this caught my eye,

crawling through the grass....
With its gazzilion beady eyes...
Looking at me.....
Menacingly.





There is a percentage of the worlds population that will never visit Australia because of this kind of spider... The word deadly is often thrown around, and that puts people off.

Now I am no spider specialist, and here in Australia we have a lot of nasty looking spiders, so the general rule is, if it looks like a funnel web you put it in a jar and take it to your local council.....which in Australian, means you Pound it to the depths of hell from whence it came with a large sturdy shoe.

I know it isn't a common house spider.. We have tons of those.
I can not bear to destroy all their hard work.





But not this spider....No...... Look at it....





there will be none of that in my backyard, and do you know what? I don't even know with any conviction whether this guy was a funnel web or a trap door, and I can not articulate to you exactly how much of a fuck, I couldn't give....or how many times Steve Irwin rolls around in his grave.



RIP deadly looking spider.
You are now comfortably balled up in tissues, in the bin,... You know.....just in case any of your beady eyed relatives stumbled upon your remains and vowed revenge.

I have also done my pennance, as I spent the following seven hours with the awful sensation that something was crawling on me, because that my friends, is the price you pay for killing a spider..

Would you have killed it?

Emma xx



10 comments:

Miss Pink said...

Oh that crawling feeling! Bit like when someone mentions nits and you cant stop scratching.

katef said...

Yep.

If it's deadly and in my garden I kill it.

Ok... that's not entirely true... if it is deadly and in my garden and is a snake, then I hyperventilate, shake, vomit and then get my husband to kill it.

I know it is illegal to kill a snake, and I am seriously all 'live and let live' if they stay out in the paddocks where they belong, but when I bound out my front door with my baby in my arms and causally attempt to walk down our front steps only to be met by a HUGE rearing black snake.... that sucker is on my territory and it's going down!

Silly Goose said...

oh sweet jesus, yes I would.

we have the lovely redback everywhere. I kill them too.

whatsinemmasbrain said...

NITS!!! Now you have done it... Scratch scratch, you are so cruel.... :P

whatsinemmasbrain said...

Hell yes, complete justifiable snakeacide.

whatsinemmasbrain said...

We was bitten by a red back once! Nasty, nasty work...

Mishaps and Mayhem of a Gluten Free Life said...

Just looking at it freaks me out! I don't even know if I would have been brave enough too kill it I would have had to dial a hubby there! That pic is going to haunt my dreams!

Donna Harrison said...

I think it might be a trapdoor, nevermind crush them all.....

River said...

Yes, I would have killed it, just like I've killed several of his cousins.
I saw a trap-door spider once, in Pt Augusta, I was walking in my dad's hard-packed dirt yard when a tiny circle of dirt popped up and a spider came out from the hole. I moved a bit closer to see him better, (I had big heavy boots on) but my shadow scared him and he zipped back in, pulling the trap closed again.

Sharon@FunkenWagnel said...

I would get someone else to kill it. I'm brave like that