Wednesday, July 18, 2012

How Fast can you sew?


And so begins Term three... The only thing I despise more than the winter School holidays are returning from the winter School holidays.
The extended Darkness reek havoc on sleep routines, uniforms are barely dry before they need to be washed again. The mornings are still cold.. It is like a shitty reminder that winter is still here... Still... Dragging away... It may never be warm again.

I thought I had my groove on for the return of these school holidays, save a few missing socks, I was pretty well organised.
I made cup cakes for the love of all things good. CUP fucking CAKES.



and then there is the dog.

We have this dog.. He is a Cocker Spaniel X some sort of terrier.
So he exactly like the love child of Chad Kruger and Zach Galiafinakis


Image Source



Image Source




His name is Buster, he is thirteen this christmas, and he was named for his uncanny Knack of getting in the way of everything.
Buster Move, never gets old.

Now our dear little Buster is predominately an outside dog. Except for the winter time, when he is quite frankly far too old to tolerate the sub arctic conditions of the Southern Highlands.

He comes in just before sundown, where he begins his nightly neurosis, of watching the cats whilst he shakes himself into a state, and despising himself because he looks ridiculous in his little knitted jumper, but is far to cosy to take it off.

Returning to the wilderness of the back yard, only when his paws deem the grass defrosted enough to walk on & This varies from day to day.
Sometimes it is 8am, sometimes he will do a test run and decide against it. Preferring to wait until 10am... Anyway this is not important..

Lately, buster has been showing signs of his advanced age, one of those signs is a slight loss of bladder control.

This morning, (the great start to term three of 2012) he decided to excersise his slight loss of bladder control on the Teens School bag.
UnLucky for teen, he had not done what he had been asked and put his school bag on its specially designed hanger, well out of piss trajectory range.
Lucky for the teen he had also not packed his bag full of school books and sport uniforms like he had been asked.

So the pee was soon discovered, and heralded by the teen whom had a minor nervous breakdown and screeched from his room

"Muuuum! How quickly can you sew?"

My stomach dropped.
It was these words that began the undoing of the great start to term three of 2012.

It turns out he wanted me to sew together a small tear in his school bag alternative...the super Mario bag, so that he could avoid the social consequences of going to school with a bag that smelt like dog piss.

Nobody wants to be that kid.

The trouble is that the small tear was in fact a gaping hole, and more of a zipper repair than a small tear... And just because I am anal enough to allocate special hangers for school bags, Martha Fucking Stewart I am certainly not.

The teen would not be persuaded to take the Solo bag from the Easter Show of 2011, that needed no repairs and was relatively odour free....because apparently, if there was a greater social err than taking a dog piss smelling bag, or a half massacred Super Mario bag, and that is taking a Solo bag from the Easter show.

So there I was, at 8:15am sewing the super Mario bag like a boss... If like a boss is patching it back together with an uneven blanket stitch, using brown thread.
Brown... It's all I had.

I learnt something this morning though... I have learned that there is NOTHING I will not do to return my children to School after the winter holidays... No matter how cold or sleep disturbed......NOTHING.

Bon voyage little squirts.. See you at the bus stop.. In seven hours.
Seven, blissful fight free hours.

Em.







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