One of the things I love about blogging is that I often get mistaken for someone far cooler than I actually am which is fantastic for my over inflated sense of self importance and I get to do some pretty unusual things.
I like to do unusual things, and since I banned Video gaming in the great punishment of 2012, quite frankly, doing unusual things helps me to feel more “eccentric” As opposed to “dangerously close to a nervous breakdown”
Banning Video gaming as a punishment takes a great deal of parenting skill, as well as the obvious annoying, incessant, passive aggressive statements of boredom, it also means that I must think up new and creative ways to enforce the law in my house.
Last week, I was met with this perilous dilemma on the morning school run, clearly the least desired of all times to hand down punishment.
The teen and his brother were arguing, about who cares, and the altercation became physical in the form of grabbing a fist full of fart and holding it over the others nose and mouth, I wish I were lying, there was also added irritation in the form of much seat kicking and high pitched squealing.
I have absolutely no tolerance for violence and even less for inhaling dirty pre-pubescent car farts at 7 am; I was only one coffee in.
Now I am ashamed to say that I resorted to using embarrassment as a form of punishment, after my many attempts to dispel the argument and prevent unnecessary fanning of the car fart in my general direction failed. EVEN, the only reach around you ever perform once you have children, and it involves flailing your arm around the back seat in a potentially shoulder dislocating fashion, desperately hoping to make contact with the offending child whilst chanting Hey! Hey! Hey! At the top of your voice… Desperate times people.
Like a shining beacon of hope……….The naffest song in the history of all songs, Grace Kelly by Mika started playing on the radio, and just when I began turning the radio up to full volume to attempt to break it up…My children greatly dislike my singing in the car… especially THAT song. That’s fate right there….
With doctor Phil and my children’s future therapist tut tutting over my shoulder…… I warned them… I warned them again and then, just as we reached the school drop off bay, and at a speed of 40kmph I blasted the song, I made gangster signs out of the window and I nodded my head as though I had a ridiculous leggo man flat peaked cap on… The argument ceased immediately, and both boys hit the deck for fear of being seen... I then went on to do a lap of the stopping bay and out of kindness…. stopped a safe distance away.... kicked them both out of the car and threatened to make them get out IN FRONT of the school next time.
I’m not proud… OK I am a little bit proud. But I prefer to think of it as “in for a penny, in for a pound”, and I’m clearly already losing my mind here.
Later that day, I was asked to Join Peter Berner and Stephen Fenech on Peter Berner Weekend Afternoons on 2UE, the following Saturday, to talk about blogging which my brain automatically changed to myself.
I had met Mr Stephen Fenech previously and found him to be delightful and very knowledgeable in all things tech, and PETER BERNER, Hilarious… So in particular need of feeling eccentric I of course, agreed, I also agreed to a polite request at the end of the interview to blog about it, and you just don’t say no to Peter Berner.
Also, my apologies to the following blogging niches,
Tech, Fashion, Foodie and mummy... I think I may have set the mummy blogging movement back 100 years...