Wednesday, September 5, 2012

My Laziness is unacceptable, even to me.


See what I did right there, I just came on back in with a Father’s Day post like I never left.. And then left it up for three days….The HIDE!
I could bore you with an intricate excuse as to why I haven’t blogged, but the truth, quite bluntly, is that as much as I love my blog, sometimes I cannot stand to look at her. Sometimes, I can’t handle social media as well as other times, sometimes, I receive one too many emails about nose wax, ( for Crying Out, Pete's Sake Lov-ing  Fuck, it actually exists and they called it that.)  & sometimes........ if you don’t have anything nice to say, then you shouldn’t say anything at all. 
So I didntus. 
I also need to occasionally supplement my income with a real job. That’s it.

Polite pause for no one cares......

Meanwhile, I have to be the most disorganised self sabotaging person to have ever graced Gods green. I came to this realisation whilst folding eight loads of washing... eight my friends. 
Now, I didn’t do the eight all at once. 
No, HA!  I’m far too lazy for that. 
This was a general accumulation of several days’ worth of washing, hidden beneath a blanket on the one seater lounge furthest from the TV.
 After a few days, I started to pick through the laundry pile for various items. It was like a large community wardrobe, Ikea would have been so proud, I had a whole system happening… I would take a bit out, do another load and add to it, the children were climbing it and everyone was having a lovely time… 
Then it happened.

 I was sure I had picked out these size 9, red toed, slightly yellowing grey stain on the heel, socks... before.

Something entered the washing pile for a second time. 
This is where I draw the line. 
Whilst having a lounge chair clean laundry pile or LCCLP is quite acceptable, it is never OK to add something back to the laundry pile, if you wore it FROM the laundry pile. Once you are getting returning items, it has gone too far.

My laziness had reached a peak that was even unacceptable to me, suddenly, these eight loads of laundry looked less like a large community wardrobe slash Faux Mt Everest, and more like eight loads of pain in the arse folding, which, you know… to the very lazy, this is devastating.

After pondering, just how I had ever let it get this far, whilst also pondering how fucking unfit I am. My arms were ACHING from the folding… I came to the following realisation.

It seems I work best in a crisis, my brain works exceptionally well in a panic type situations, the rest of the time I float along, not blogging, nor folding.. Obviously... becoming generally stagnant, actually doing things so that I have something to blog about, and eventually I fall into a creative frenzy that only generalised laziness will bring, which is awesome for my blog… but… there’s the laziness.

So in order to do anything with my creativity, I feel I must cram myself with so much to do that I can’t possibly be creative, What blog?  Not with so many things to do!…( it borders on self-sabotage) and consequently.. I have absolutely no choice other than to get organised and slightly less lazy.
It’s a vicious cycle.

I also fear that I whilst I acknowledge this character flaw, I will use the acknowledgment as more of an enabling acceptance, as opposed to actually ever doing anything about it........


In Order to celebrate the ending of the Great washing disaster of 2012 , and clearly, my ability to dramatize EVERYTHING, I turned to the Internet to reassure myself, that there were lazier people than I.

She didn’t disappoint.

 I never trust anyone with pram aged children in white pants, especially the Lazy ones.

Probably MacArthur Square..

 Line Markers...Pffft, I know line markers, this surprises me very little... (I'm looking at you Grug.)

This type of laziness is born of Hangovers so bad that you can not raise your own head, however hydration is a must. What a catch this guy is!...

Now to find a Post It note, that will stay up for the entire duration of daylight savings.....

I feel better already.

Emma xx


Anonymous said...

Sadly I can totally relate to the LCCLP. Also known as the lounge chair wardrobe.

As the clothes dirtiers got older, I devised the perfect way to deal with LCCLP - their own colour coded clothes baskets! Clean clothes went straight from the line to their baskets to their beds with a direction to put it all away NOW. Then dirty clothes went into the baskets and the whole cycle began again.

Boring, I know ...

Steph said...

I know exactly how you feel! My loungeroom floor is currently littered with baskets of clean washing. I put away last weeks clean clothes (what was left after we had been picking through it all week) AFTER I started doing that weeks washing. So sad. I am also the same with my blog. Sigh. I wish I was one of those motivated people! The scariest thing for me is that I don't even have kids yet and my life is this messy and disorganized!

Dan_Sally said...

I love someone who relishes in laziness. Makes me feel like part of a community!