Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What you might not know about Helicopter Parenting.




Do you know what I am sick. To. The. Farking.death of?
Pauses for no one cares, continues without a breath regardless..

Brands and media that are still hell bent on using parental guilt and judgment as a sales pitch.

It's like marketing teams and the good folk that source content for sensationalist articles, get together around a desk, and Pick SOMETHING out of a hat, that parents could possibly feel guilty about, then whack together a bit of a survey to explain exactly why parents should feel bad, then explain exactly how their product/article can help elevate that guilt and do it all under the guise of "helping parents stop doing things wrong"
Then they all high five each other, put it in a media release or sensationalist article, and spam that baby to high heck.

All of the narrow minded parenting cliché groups have had a turn at some point, but more recently, helicopter parents have copped a bit of a beating, it's everywhere, it's old, gag.

As a reformed helicopter parent, general whinger and easily angered person, I would like to personally say; 

It's not ok to judge someone's parenting style unless they are endangering a child in some genuine way, not cleverly guided statistics to support an argument. It's transparent, rude, offensive, a bit irresponsible and morally questionable.

You will never know that a huge amount of helicopter parents "Helicopter" out of anxiety, not superiority.

I'll also have you know,

It's not fun to be at the park with a group of parents who are enjoying a rare relaxing minute, smiling and sipping coffee, whilst you look on, wondering what the fuck is wrong with you, why cant you just relax like that? As you helicopter over your child.

That Sometimes helicoptering over your child is easier that the visualization you get, of them falling over and cracking something. Sometimes, if the anxiety is very severe, these visualisations can be very disturbing, more disturbing than the fucks they could give that someone may make fun of them for hovering..

You might not know that some parents helicopter out of a severe lack of confidence in parenting ability or feelings of self-worth or misplaced anxiety coping mechanisms.

It's not enjoyable to spend a sleepless night before a swimming carnival, or pool party, reassuring yourself that your child won't drown.

It's sometimes it's simply not a choice for some, to sleep less than 3hrs a night, and spend the rest of the time, helicoptering over a sleeping child, convinced they will stop breathing at any time, or that there may be an earthquake, and ceiling may cave in on their baby, or that someone will take their child, or what if there is a fire, what if they choke, what if they become trapped in the blankets, what if the cot collapses...
I can promise you that the longer you go without sleep, the more plausible these situations become.

It is not a sweet walk down candy fucking lane, when try as you might, you can't convince your brain that it won't happen.

I can assure you that weeping in your room, and not being able to take up offers of very much needed help or a break because you cannot stand the anxiety of your child travelling in the car with another person is not a pleasant experience.

I can also guaren. fucking. tee. That to whichever degree the helicopter parent has these feelings, and I admit these are fairly extreme examples, but whatever feelings of anxiety, or for whatever reason they hover, this parent does not need the judgment of anyone.

They don't need any hype created around their ridiculous and laughable parenting "style"
They don't need an added stigma.
They don't need to feel any more ashamed or inadequate.

They may need support; they may need to hear from someone who understands how they feel.

They may need a little bit of a hand dealing with their anxiety.

They may need nothing at all.
They may be just more of a hovering type parent, what's it to you Judy McJudgment?

AnywayAll great sales pitches, media releases and sensationalist type articles need survey results to support their cause.

SO!

I prepared a little survey of my own, to support my argument, Its the first ever Giant Crap Sandwich Survey.

G.G.S-survey results!
Prepared by Giant Crap Sammich, - Hey! How do you like them apples!
Speaking only for myself since 1982.


** A RECENT STUDY SHOWS THAT 1 out of 1 blogger, who writes for this blog, needs to get out more.

* 10 out of 10 PARENTS, gave 5/8ths of a Sweet Rats Cracker, if your study showed that 9/10 Parents could be doing something better or wrong and therefore should buy your product, or read your article encouraging judgment because picking on "helicopter parents" is the caramel fucking fudge of the month.


**IN FACT A SCARY 4 out of 10 parents were offended, outraged or jaded by this and any similar ridiculously out dated and morally unjust pitch.

**AS MANY AS 3/10 parents found that it added to feelings of inadequacy.

** As little as 1/10 Parents gagged at the thought of another sensationalist judgment based parenting article/media release.

2/10 Parents thoroughly enjoy the home reading program.


(** you should know that these statistics are made up, I don't actually know that many people who I would be comfortable to ask to take a survey.)

So there you have it.
My latest rant, helping to keep the bank of acrimony nice and empty, lest it erupt in a public display of resentment fuelled PMS.

Emma x






1 comment:

Miss Cinders said...

I would have taken your survey :)

And yep I couldn't give a flying rats arse what anyone thinks of how I parent.

xxx