I went away for a while. I do that, Even in real life, well not actually go anywhere, but I have a profound need to retreat and be still.
For someone who spends as much time in their own head as I, it is necessary.
I do it all the time. It's infuriating to all around me, but I can't help it, I will never change.
This time, I went on an impromptu, self imposed Internet/social media ban. For a month.
I know right.
I like to think that I enjoy the Internet, but sometimes, I don't want everything NOW, or to know everything NOW, I appreciate a little bit of shoosh, and I take a minute to remember that, although I will not be reading about it as it happens;
People will still be beautiful paranoid arseholes,
Koshie will continue to be an offensive dinosaur, (and can I ad....for someone who clearly knows the sting of male pattern baldness, he sure hangs a lot of sexuality on natural biology.... Wait..HA!. Never mind.)
I will continue to think things I should never say.
Taylor Swift will still have public fights and still come out smelling of Spring scented Ambi Pur,
I will eventually not care about what emails I am ignoring.
Oprah will still interview people, and Lance Armstrong will still deny any wrong doing, even with the beady eyes of Oprah looking into his very soul.
Zac Effron will still visit sex shops. Perez Hilton will still care.
Gay marriage is still illegal.
Ed Sheeran tickets will still be released... and people (Read: AHoles) will still buy them ALL, regardless of whether I am informed about it or not.
Fuck it to HELL I missed out on and Sheeran tickets, other than that, in my absence, Nothing dramatic, mysterious or serious happened here.
Getting a skip bin and having a huge throw out was probably the highlight of my holiday, and even as I write that last sentence I can SEE the SAD.
This year our Christmas festivities stretched out over two weeks, and I must say, I am never, ever, ever doing it like that again.
On a fabulous note though, I saw ALL of my many siblings, and some cousins I have not seen forever, a few I met for the first time.
I managed to finally kiss the adorable cheeks of my niece, found out that I am going to be an Aunty again, and TWO babies were breast fed at the Christmas dinner table, zero people were offended.
It was glorious.
But that was about it.
I missed you internet.