Sometimes, when I get PMS, I go on these rants, and have arguments with people in my head before I have it with them...
Sometimes I write it down.
When my daughter was born, I required a caesarean section after a complicated pregnancy. All I wanted to hear from the medical staff as I lay on the operating table, shielded by blue sheets to prevent me seeing my insides, was that my baby was OK. I didn’t care at all what gender she was, what she looked like, whose eyes she would have or if she had hair, how big she would be or even if she had to go to the nursery for a bit. I just wanted to hear that baby squeal and for the medical staff delivering her to say the magic words that their concerns were unfounded and my baby was OK.
I heard those words, and I will be forever grateful that I did, but I received those words after I heard the words, “Wow, a red head! Look at all that red hair!”
My tiny little girl at just 5lb, 2 oz., was indeed a red head. The first thing I saw, before I knew if she was a boy or a girl, was the largest crop of wet, curly red ringlets I had ever seen on a newborn baby. Ringlets that were stuck all over her head in perfect red circles, and then they whisked her away.
Soon that red hair was washed and dried, and puffed out from her head like bright red plumes of smoke. So remarkable was her hair that everywhere we went, comments were made. The words used were all positive, “What beautiful red curls! What I would pay for a hair colour like that! I hope she never dyes that hair!”
Our little girl grew so used to people commenting on her hair, that if she were introduced to someone, and they didn’t make a comment about it, she would run her hands through her hair and say, “Did you see my hair?”
It bothered me greatly that my little girl was so used to people meeting her and making a comment on her appearance that she noticed if they didn’t. Even though most of the comments were positive, it still bugged me.
As she grew older, she started hearing things like, Gingers have no soul. She has been called a Ranga, a Ginger, been told to stay out of the sun or she’ll end up an awful freckly type of red head, Ronald MacDonald, Blood nut, Fanta head.. I am going to stop here.
One awful woman while we were out shopping pointed at her and said to another woman that was with her, “Look, a Weasley!” Followed by a hideous cackle..
Now.. I also happened to take in this woman’s physical appearance, her nose was very large and snout like, I certainly would not have ever made a remark about her physical appearance, or perhaps even noticed it at all had she not been so ugly on the inside. Man, nothing peppers my peen hole, more that people being awful to my children.
What I WANTED to do is point back at the woman. I wanted to say loudly, “Look at that big ugly woman with a nose like a pig!”
I wanted to ask if she was happy about people pointing at her and making comments about her physical appearance.
I wanted to follow her, head bobbing and finger snapping all over the place, To tell her that I hoped she made a comment about the wrong persons physical appearance one day, and that someone broke her awful nose so that Medicare would fix it for her.
You know… because my inner bogan, will. Just. Not. Go. Away, no matter how much I pretend it’s not there.
I didn't though, because my daughter was with me, and I want to teach her to rise above people like this with her fabulous-ness and grace. I want her to understand that people say these kinds of things because they are miserable with themselves and therefore, are miserable enough.
Also she is five, and she couldn't care less yet, what people say. I want it to stay like that for as long as possible.
Last time I checked, making hurtful comments based on someone’s physical appearance was against the law. Yes, I know.. So is threatening to break someone’s nose in the car park of Coles, but whatever.
I know most of the jibes made at redheads, are made in good fun but it doesn’t make it OK.
My little girl should be able to go anywhere and do anything she likes without people feeling the need to comment about her physical attributes, she is just a child, and had absolutely no say in the colour of the hair she was born with, making her feel inadequate because of it is not acceptable.. We all need to stop pretending this is OK.
In summary..Get rooted.
I’ll also have you know, that now I have had this fight in my head, I will not hesitate to have it with anyone. Loudly, and publicly.. because I have much less regard for how I appear in the eyes of others than I should..
If I ever hear anyone make a derogatory comment about the physical appearance of any of my children, In fact if I happen to hear a derogatory comment about the appearance, race, gender, sexuality or ability of ANYONE and it’s within my earshot. .. I will let you have it, or quite possibly, depending on my mood, or time of month, I may just run- ya –down, with -mah- car.
*Head bobble, *finger snap. Mmmmm Hmmmm.
Let’s never speak of it again.
Completing in a 30 day blog challenge.