It’s Friday so I am going to carry on about writing this sex scene again.
I am not a fan OK? I must admit. I write something, then I re read it and cringe. I am usually not a prude, OK... I mean, I am the queen of over sharing. Ask my friends, I start many conversations among my group of friends with “Don’t judge me, but...” and my gals roll their eyes and say, “This is going to be good...” But if I can’t read what I have written without wanting to screw my face up and ball my fists and have a mini melt down of embarrassment, then how the fuck am I going to publish it for the ten people that might buy my book to read!?!
For the love of Adam Levine!! It’s shouldn’t be this HARD... (Immature Giggle) & that my friends, is the problem right there ß
What if I am too immature to write a sex scene? I can’t even look at certain ordinary words without having an internal snigger. I am THIRTY-FECKING-TWO and the following words still amuse me to no end.
Pointy… The list goes on.
I have an internal monologue of “That’s what she said” going on in my head just ordering devon at the deli for crying out loud.
Ok, don’t judge me, but... Sometimes when Cabbage is watching the cricket, to amuse myself, because I don’t actually understand cricket, I listen to the cricket commentary and laugh at my own made up sexual innuendo.
“Clarky had a fabulous run at it; his balls ran straight up the left stump”
GROW UP EMMA!!!!
I have consulted with my bestie about this several times. She has read my attempts at a sex scene, and I watch her face when she reads it, and then she yells at me to stop staring at her while she is trying to read it. My bestie says that it is funny, which is good, because my book it SUPPOSED to be funny, but is funny what you want to go for in a sex scene?
Last time I checked, laughing at someone’s sexual attempts is very damaging to the ego, and even though it is not an actual sexual encounter, and they are merely a jumble of words that describe an imaginary sexual encounter, I still am a little uncomfortable at people laughing at it.
I think that is where I am stuck. An imaginary sexual encounter is something that is usually fairly private. Possibly more private that a real sexual encounter. Some people don’t even share their imaginary sex with their sexual partner, and not just because your partner doesn’t particularly want to hear about your pretend romp in eight inches of Jon Snow, but because by nature, imaginary sex in some way, much more intimate that actual sex.
I have given myself a dead line though. Intimate or not, imaginary or not, ego damagingly funny or not this thing must be written.
I really need to stop writing whiny blog posts about writing it and just do it.
Do you think I am over thinking it? Is imaginary sex more intimate that actual sex? Help a gal out..
Have a fantastic weekend.