Monday, March 17, 2014

Jerks Backyard

So cabbage started kind of a new job today, he will be working for the same company, but he is in a different role. I am excited by this for several reasons, the main reason being that it will make refinancing our house a little easier. At the moment, we both work for ourselves, and anyone who has tried to gain finance when working for themselves will know... Fuck that in a hand basket.

This weekend, I wandered around our front and back yard, and took mental notes of all the improvements I want to make.  When we bought this house, I was quite excited by the fact that we had 870 Sq. metres of grass. There was no actual garden to speak of; it was virtually a blank canvas.

Yeah, I was an idiot… The novelty of that pretty much wore off after the seventh time I dropped a bomb on plants and they all fucking died. Our yard is in dire need of some landscaping and the front garden especially, lacks a certain amount of street appeal. If by a certain amount, I mean all.

We have zero street appeal.

When it comes to the vision I have for our garden, I was thinking courtyard type front garden. Private, tranquil and full of a copious amount of beautiful flowers, that I will then cut for easy access to fresh cut flowers for the house the entire year round.

For the back, I was thinking practical and functional. I want to be able to shop in my garden; I want the majority of my fruit, vegetables and eggs from my backyard. I also would like some entertaining space and the kids want room for the trampoline and a basketball hoop. Cabbage wants a spot to enjoy a cold beer, to mow less and not to have to decide anything; he also would like it if the kids picked up the dog shit every now and again.

I am also going to have to do it on the cheap, and by cheap I mean that by the time the required improvements are made to the house, I will have about three marbles, some PK foil and a wad of pocket lint to do the garden with. I am not discouraged though!

I spent a little time scouring Pinterest and getting some fantastic recycled garden ideas. I have a list of plants that make other plants, some cheaper but stylish fencing ideas and a FREE PLAN to make a greenhouse out of old windows.

 So welcome to Jerks Backyard. #JerksBackyard  

I will be documenting the cheapest and most effective garden ideas that actually worked, which will be included in Made it like Martha section of le Blogge.
To kick start Jerks Backyard; I will share with you a few pictures of our Veggie Garden’s progress.

Our Veggie garden cost roughly around $100 dollars. The garden beds themselves are made from old tyres, we called our local tyre centre, who offered us their worn tyres for free if we came and loaded them ourselves. WINNING I grew most of our vegetables from seed on the window sill to keep costs down, I also grew things like leek and spring onions from kitchen cuts,  and transferred the seedlings to the garden. This is so disgustingly easy to do, just snip and shove the root bit in the dirt.  

Most of that expense came from the soil and the fencing to keep the chickens out. We made a crude fence from some large steaks and some aptly named chicken wire. This does not stop Mrs Nuggets from looking solemnly at me when I am inside it, and she is of the emotionally manipulative type so I almost always let her in for a quick peck at the spinach and snails. I can NOT say no to that face.

To deter the snails from the chilli, I am using crushed egg shells, and this seems to work really well so far, it has been fairly dry though, so we have not had too many snails, I will let you know how well this works after the rain arrives.

After a prosperous season, our Lettuce, Rocket and Parsley are beginning to go to seed. I am allowing this, because we let everything go to seed with our last veggie garden out of sheer laziness. Our laziness was rewarded the next season, by all of these plants returning.

They may not return in the nice neat rows that we planted them in, but the control freak in me takes a deep calming breath and gets over it, because they return in the best spots for them, which in turn made stronger and more productive plants.

An example of this, was this guy.

Who inconveniently sprouted in the fucking middle of the walkway between the rows of tyres. I am unsure yet as to whether this guy is a pumpkin, or perhaps a late blooming watermelon, or another squash?  It's a vine of some sort, which is the extent of my knowledge.

Time will tell, what I do know is that I by adding an old chair I had laying around and kicking the seat bit out, (of which the children had tremendous fun doing) The mystery vine has obediently climbed over it and is now mostly out of the way of the path. Trellis... (Made it like Martha bitches. 

It was a 1 on the Martha Scale.)

I am currently taking bets on what the mystery vine is, do you know more about these things than the dick all I do? Can you tell by looking at it what it is?

Happy Monday.

Don Jerk xx


river said...

All I know is parsley is biennial, so seeds every second year. If you plant one now, then plant another next year you will have parsley every year, one in production while one is seeding. By year three the seeds from the first one should be growing, year four will see seeds from the second planting growing.
Love the vine over the chair. It might be watermelon, pumpkin doesn't usually have markings on the leaves.

Donna Harrison said...

Some type of pumpkin/squash probably butternut...