Monday, April 7, 2014

I am not your mummy.

There is a lot of this going around on the internet right now, but I am going to weigh in. 

A few years ago, I sat on a blogger media relations panel, and was asked the question “What do I think about the term mummy blogger?” My answer today is the same as it was a few years ago.
I despise it.

I will now bore you with why.

I despise it, because it is more often than not, used as a derogatory term. It is patronising. It adds to the general opinion that a woman who is raising a child has less to contribute to society than anyone else.
Somehow, a ‘Mummy’ Blogger is somewhat lessor than an ‘actual’ blogger. Regardless of the fact that the only difference between a ‘Mummy’ blogger and any other blogger, is the fact that she has given birth.

A blogger who is not a parent and  tracks trends and interacts with their readership and community, and subsequently spends a great deal of time and effort on social media becomes a social media expert. A blogger who happens to be a parent and does the same is bored, and has way too much time on their hands.

Miranda Kerr oozes sex appeal, it was all well and good for her to sell sex left right and centre as a Victoria secret model, her opinion on the subject was capable of selling a gazillion stories. When she was childless that is.

The minute she became a mother, her opinion on the subject becomes dirty and uncalled for, despite the fact that she returned to exactly the same profession, did exactly the same roll and as far as anyone can tell, does it exactly the same way.

The fact that common opinion is that once you become a mother, your value in society drops like a new car leaving the car yard. You are no longer entitled to your stories.

It is the fact that motherhood is consistently seen as an inconvenience to the woman’s professional standing.

I sat a job interview once and was asked if I planned on having any more children in the near future. I asked if they were going to pose the same question to the male candidates.

It wasn’t that I didn’t understand, they were a small family run business, the fact that I may be up for maternity leave would be a huge financial burden and a major inconvenience. The fact that I may pop out a future tax payer, through no fault of their own could be financially crippling to them.

I liked this family, and rather than answer the question I suggested that they be very mindful of asking it, and doing so was actually against the law.

Guess what? I got the job. I politely declined the position. This is but a mere drop in the ocean of the discrimination I have seen since becoming a parent.

The term mummy blogger is used and defended as simply a title, a way to describe a community of people whom interact, debate, have opinions and support each other. We are seen to be intimidating whingers that hold undeserved influence. We have merely created for ourselves what we have been missing. Necessity is the mother of invention.

I would wear the term mummy blogger if it the fact that I am a mother made any difference to what it is I do.  If it was simply a title as they claim. From where I stand it isn’t.

The only people in the world who are allowed to call me mummy are my children. I have earned that title, all mothers earn that title. Whether you birth by c section, naturally, whether you adopt, foster or inherit, mother hood is a sacred, rewarding, beautiful battle. Stop shitting on it. Don’t ever use the word reserved and earned from the love of my children and make it something dirty to defend the fact that you have been missing the mark with the masses.

That is all I have to say about that.

I am off to see the surgeon, wish me luck xx


bigwords said...

Can I call you Mummy? xxx

Emmas Brain said...

Yes. Yes you can. Xx