Wednesday, June 11, 2014


How are you? Good thanks.
Stuff has been happening around here, general stuff, some exciting stuff, some shit stuff, life as per usual stuff.

I can tell you what hasn't happened around here is decent sleep, so please excuse the rambling sleep deprived nature of this post.

Decent sleep has eluded me for several reasons, one of which being that the middle kid, gets night terrors, I have written, whinged, moaned and thrown my hands to the heavens about the night terrors before, so I won't bore you with the details again, but we are heading back to the doctors though, because currently, the only solution we have been offered has been to sedate him for eight consecutive nights when things become unbearable.

This is fine when his night terror bouts are less frequent, but I find the concept of drugging my kid to sleep so often unnerving, but I do liken frequent bouts of night terrors to waking up to a teething baby that needs a considerable amount of resettling, for ten stinkin years.

Add to this, there's the whole 'I didn't send my kid to preschool' thing. *Rolls eyes.

Despite the hand wringing of Judge Judy types, and the gasps and the HOW WILL SHE KNOW ROUTINE AND SCHOOL READINESS & Peter pilot pencil grip, and WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE FUCKING CHILDREN that is associated with deciding not to send your kid to preschool, I am finding the only real consequence is her undeveloped immune system.

I am sure if I had of let her spend some time shoving communal toys covered in some other kids green snot in her mouth, and let other kids cough in her face while she was a toddler, perhaps she wouldn't get every lurgy going around kindergarten.

After a fairly uneventful term one, term two began with bronchitis, for which ain't no one got time for, tonsillitis, a constant runny nose, head lice and a mild ear infection, not to mention the random temperatures that creep out of nowhere and then disappear, sore throats and 24 hour gastro like tummy bugs. All of these things are adding to my lack of sleep.

I am not the kind of parent who is together and relaxed enough to administer some nurofen, tuck my kid into bed and wake up eight hours later. No.
I get anxious, I have to feel their foreheads every eight minutes and imagine that their temperature is creeping up above 39 degrees Celsius on my palm-o-mometer, just as I drift off to sleep, my mind says things like..

‘You know what you aren't thought of in a while? Meningitis!'

And I have to get up and carry my kid into bed with me, get back up and get the actual thermometer and think about sleeping while I keep one eye open for a rash to appear.

Tell me I am not the only person who does this!?

I'm so over it, but it seems I made my bed by not sending her to 'Pestilence Pete's fun family care centre' and I don't get to fucking lay in it.

So sleep deprived are we, that a few nights ago, I left a dinner plate and several pieces of cutlery that didn't fit in the dishwasher, on the bench above the dishwasher, (because no, I'm not washing that shit up when it can go in the next load, and not because of the sleep deprivation, but because fuck washing up) anyway that's not important, what is important is that I left I out, and at some stage during the night, our cat Eric knocked it off the bench and it smashed all over the kitchen floor.

Cabbage didn't even stir, and I, being jolted from sleep for the seventy third time that week, became convinced that someone smashed a window.

I woke cabbage by declaring loudly that I thought a window may have just smashed, got up out of bed in my undies, and stumbled down the hallway to confront anyone bold enough to smash in a window to break in.

With no weapon.
In my undies.

Which come to think of it, probably is as good as a weapon, seeing as they weren't particularly nice undies, they sat right under my caesarean scar and my belly folds over the top of them, holding them up at the front, the bra I had on provided no actual support, and was more of a very worn and yellowing crop top.
I could have in theory, disgusted intruders to death.
"Don't move, I have a gunt!"

Meanwhile, I stared at the smashed plate for a minute, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on, like I couldn't figure out that the plate was not a smashed window, and why  was no one trying to climb in the kitchen window, and why the fuck did I not put a dressing gown on? Before I picked up the whole lot and shoved it in the sink, all "I'll deal with I tomorrow" like.

Then my days are spent doing all the things that I leave to deal with tomorrow, and these things accumulate people! I can't find my iPod such is the disarray I am surrounded with right now.
I can't deal without my iPod, I just... Everything can fuck off.

I may have to book myself a refresher holiday in a hotel by myself. It doesn't even have to be a nice one, because all I would do is sleep.

Have you ever considered booking a hotel, just so you can sleep?

More importantly, do any of you own a holiday house, caravan, granny flat, bed & breakfast, hotel, spare bed? And do you need a new best friend?

Happy...whatever day it is.

Em xx

1 comment:

Donna Harrison said...

Come visit your Mummy <3 I have a nice soft bed with your name on it....