Ugh. Is it Friday yet?
I know it’s Monday, you know how I can tell that it’s Monday? I can tell because the Teen missed the bus and I have the other two home with sore throats. I also have all the dogs inside, because there is a thunder storm and my dogs detest loud noises and I am not paying pound fee’s again.
On the weekend, we went out for dinner to celebrate my PASSING ALL MY UNI EXAMS!!! Only I forgot that the Picton Show was on, and they always let fireworks off at the Picton show, despite the fact that it’s dryer than a menopausal vagina around here, and the oval that the show is held, is smack bang in the middle of a residential area. Fuck the Picton show.
Anyway, we came home from dinner and our smallest dog was missing. He had destroyed the side fence in a panic to get out. He is fifteen, mostly deaf (Not deaf enough to not hear the fucking fireworks) and he can’t see all that well. Well, he can see OK, but his sight aint what it used to be, like, if I wear my pimping zebra print dressing gown outside, he barks at me.
I tell myself it’s because I look a different shape in my Zebra print dressing gown, but it could be that he just fucking hates my dressing gown.. I mean, he pissed on it twice now, so who knows.
Anyway, I was annoyed at the council, because if you are going to approve fireworks, then all pound fee's should be void. Just saying... It pisses me right off, also, he came home CRAWLING with fleas. I cant.. I can’t even. Anyway, I didn’t do my usual rant though, like that one time.. Remember? *Shifty eyes*… When I got escorted from the building? Yeah. That was embarrassing… I don’t want to do that again, also, I need them to approve my hiring the local Shire Hall for the youngests birthday party.
This party has turned into an extravagant Frozen themed affair, and I’ll tell you a secret.
I fucking LOATHE children’s birthday parties, both attending and hosting. I know that makes me a special kind of bitch, but honestly, it’s how I feel. I am putting my feelings aside however, to throw her the party she wants to have, which is a Coronation Ball.
Despite this, I have gone ALL OUT, because I love the kid. Like not ALL OUT expense wise, because (A) I don’t have the cash, and (B) It’s just not necessary. But I have made menu’s, bought a snow cone machine, I dug the battery operated snowflake lights from the box of Christmas shit in the roof, and purchased some fake snow. I also bought a snow flake fondant cutter and embosser for seven bucks on ebay. It’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore. Seriously, at about 11:30 on Saturday night, I had this awesome idea to crochet a Frozen character centrepiece for one of the tables.
For the sweet, sweet love of Adam Levine…
Kill it. Kill it with fire.
So I have been scouring Pinterest for some “Other” Centrepiece alternatives. Word of warning, if you are going to search ‘Frozen themed birthday parties” on Pinterest, be prepared for a healthy dose of inferiority complex... I mean, some of these parties are AMAZING. Which reminds me, I haven’t made it like Martha for a while… I may have to share a few things I have made for the party there.
But not these..
Did I mention I PASSED MY STINKIN EXAMS?!?