Monday, May 4, 2015

Unpopular opinions from the weekend

There was so much happening this weekend, a royal baby! A homophobe and a sicky wife beater punched each other in the face for a sum of cash that would have done a great deal of good in Nepal right now, then there was the Logies... THE LOGIES! Who doesn’t love watching the people you see on the telly everyday get steadily intoxicated and chair dance. 

It’s kind of like our family Christmas, Great Aunt Mary begins the festivities with a stuffy look of distain plastered on her face, but give her a few brandy’s and eventually she cracks a smile, drops her walking cane and boogies along with everyone else, while we all swap raised eyebrowed glances of “See, told you she didn’t actually need that cane, fucking faker..’

Man I hope great Aunt Mary doesn’t read this blog, but you know... If she does, it wouldn’t hurt to be less of a Stuffy Mc Crack-a-sad, you know it’s true, just saying.

The first unpopular opinion I am going to share on the weekend’s news is about the royal baby.

Don’t get me wrong, I love myself some great baby news as much as the next person. What’s not to love? But since I have been absolutely done in the having my own babies department, my joy for someone else’s baby news is more of a warm happiness at their delight if that makes sense.

If that isn’t clear, I will demonstrate in picture form what happened to me when I knew I was done making any more babies of my own.

I know how wrong that is to actually say out loud, or write on the internet for that matter, but it is what it is. I’m not going to lie.

My good friends that know me well already know this, they make fun of me for it, but they also know that I am genuinely REALLY happy when a baby is born. I am happy, I remember that joy, I am beyond excited that people who are having babies get to experience in that joy.

But I just really don’t want to hold your baby…

Not so much. I don’t know why this happened, or how this happened, but it happened OK, I’m not going to pretend it didn’t.

The second unpopular opinion I am going to share, is about the “fight”. For starters, I guess I just really can’t bring myself to delight in people punching each other in the face as much as some. I don’t understand it, I don’t like the sound of it, it’s just not mah forte.

If you don’t get this picture reference, we can never be friends.

I try my very best to be the vault of no judgment however, so if the boxing is something you enjoy, then you go my friend, I am just a little bit miffed at the human race that we can send so much money to cheer and watch a man convicted of assaulting five women, and another man who actively petitioned against gay rights and birth control, beat each other…. Wait... No the fact that they both copped a punching of the face is actually OK with me, but the money just annoys me, and the cheering about the money annoys me, especially when we all got perpetually offended with channel nine for sending a doctor to Nepal. I just... I can’t. 

This is why I hate people.

Speaking of Channel nine, let’s look at the TV Week Logies .2015

I am going to say that I found this year’s Logies a tad on the boring side. 

I did. I tried to be entertained, I REALLY TRIED, but I couldn’t quite sit through the whole thing. It was kind of like sitting through a school award ceremony, watching EVERYONE elses kid get an award.. You know, Yay for you, but I honestly couldn't care less.

There were a few moments of greatness don’t get me wrong. The best part of the Logies was obviously Carrie Bickmore, and everything about Carrie Bickmore. Her speeches, her dress, her contribution and her raising awareness for brain cancer, she is just amazing. So amazing in fact that a little bit of me wanted the camera to pan to Patty Newton’s face whenever Carrie was delighting everyone with her sheer amazingness, just once I wanted to see Patty Newton give Carrie Bickmore a bit of a stink eye about being de throned.  

The second best part of the evening was the Richie Benaud memorial. DO you know why it was the best? Because the man was so damned respected by Australians that they played Por Ti Volare during his memorial and there was NOT ONE Catalina fucking Wine mixer tweet. Not one, now that’s respect right there, and damn well deserved I may add.

The worst thing about the Logies though, apart from it being a little on the yawn side, was the lack of Australian musical talent. 

Why do we insist on bringing imported talent to play at the Logies when we have SO DAMNED MUCH local musical talent? Is it that we feel we aren’t ‘cool’ enough? That we have to have a big international name to give the Logies more cred?  Or are we trying to give the Logies more international recognition?  IT WON’T WORK! For several reasons.

1.       Importing talent to give you more cred is possibly the lamest thing you can do. It does the opposite of giving you cred, it draws attention to the fact that you feel you have no cred of your own, therefore you have to import it.

2.       It is grossly unnecessary to bring in musical arrangements that don’t know what the fuck the Logies are or why they are even there... This is blatantly obvious in Meghan’s face right here…

What the actual fuck is going on?

3.       For the sweet love of Powder Finger, why not use an Australian Award Show that recognises the immense creative talent Australia has to offer to showcase the massive Australian musical talent we have? It just doesn’t make sense?!

*Sigh… Meanwhile, this could quite possibly be the dullest rant I have ever written. For that.. No wait I can't even be bothered apologising because it's Monday people, MONDAY.

Now, before you start, please don't write to complain about my unpopular opinions, well... write if you want, but chances are I will neither care, nor read it.

Happy Monday.

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